Indeed Trust Is a Virtue, but With Blindfolds on It Is Foolish.
Aluxers, you might find yourself having a hard time trusting anybody. You’ve been let down before and you vowed you wouldn’t do it to yourself again, but you did. And now you’re letting the past hold you back from trusting those that will honour your truth.
Give people a chance to earn your trust but take heed of the following 15 types of people to avoid at all costs.
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With that established, let’s recognize the first personality type to watch out for.
1
People Who Like to Tell Stories About Other People
We spoke about these kinds of people in our video, 15 Principles for an Excellent Work Ethic, where we mentioned “don’t be the office gossip, don’t listen to the office gossip and don’t encourage the office gossip.”
Gossips are not to be trusted. The reason is simple. If they’re speaking smack about someone else, they’ll go and do the same about you. And what does it say about you if you’re listening to and encouraging this kind of toxic behaviour.
The only kind of “speaking about other people” you should be doing, is saying great things about them. “Oh, did you hear that Jamey got engaged to that lovely guy from gym?” or “Costa got a promotion at work, isn’t that amazing?”
2
Those That Belittle Their Ex
Aluxers, the funny thing about this type of person is that they often think they’re doing good with their new partner by belittling or badmouthing their ex… but it does the exact opposite.
Again, what will happen if or when you break up or things go a little awry… will that person then go and badmouth you to their new partner or group of friends?
That’s pretty shi*ty.
On the other hand, a person you can trust, is one that doesn’t say awful things about their ex. One that keeps their past private and doesn’t share all the details with you. Respect your ex and your new partner enough to do the same.
This will put your new relationship off to a great start.
3
People Who Flirt Too Much and Are Too Touchy/Feely
Have you ever been around someone that is just a little too flirty and a little too affectionate? Doesn’t that person make you feel hella uncomfortable? Like you just want to cover up and keep far away. Your instinct is bang on…
And if you’re in a monogamous relationship with someone, you’ll quickly know the difference between an innocent smile to the waitress and “thanks for the service,” or “thanks for the service, I bet you make a lot of tips,” followed by a wink.
So, look out for prolonged eye-contact, dialogue with a sexual undercurrent, overly touchy/feely, body language and personal questions that make you feel anxious.
This person is trouble, and in the famous words of Taylor Swift, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in.”
4
Those That Only Speak About Themselves
Egocentric people are plain hard work. They switch the conversation to revolve around them and change plans to suit their own interests.
Surely you know by now that the world revolves around them. *cough* *cough*
In Terry Pratchett’s Eric, which you can listen to on Audible, he says, “Hell needed horribly bright, self-centered people like Eric. They were much better at being nasty than demons could ever manage.”
Aluxers, I don’t think we can top that explanation, even if we tried.
5
People Whose Story Is Always Bigger Than Yours
They are “sicker” than you, have a car that broke down worse than yours, have a worse MIL, or their kid is saying the alphabet at 1 month while yours is still gurgling away.
Their stories are all round simply better than yours.
So, it’s not like they’re the most untrustworthy people in the world, because truthfully, you could tell them any secret or story and they wouldn’t even remember it to retell it. Why? Because they’re so busy thinking of their bigger and better story to tell, they’re not even listening to you!
6
Those That Fall in Love Too Quickly
Aluxers, they’re not bad people, but you also don’t want to get hurt yourself and someone who is perpetually falling in love is really unsure about who they are and what they need.
And sadly, often people who fall in love quickly, also like the drama. They set themselves up for failure and then it’s all tears, and why doesn’t anyone love me sort of vibe. And that in itself is just exhausting.
If you’re in a new relationship and the person is telling you that they love you from like the 2nd date, and you’ve filled a void in their life and they were lost until they found you, tread very carefully. These people often go full blown cray cray if you break if off, even if it’s just been a week.
7
Pathological Liars
Sometimes we meet a good Samaritan who will warn us about someone being a pathological liar, and we don’t believe them for whatever reason. We think they’re jealous, a bit*h, speaking cr*p and so on.
You usually only believe they’re like this after you’ve been lied to a few times too many.
So, how do you recognize a pathological liar?
It’s quite easy really:
They’re either the hero. The one who saved the day. Or they’re the victim. Oh, poor me – bad things always happen to me.
Their stories are bigger than what they truly are… think of a 4-year old telling you about the size of the fish he caught. Same thing.
Where it gets confusing, is they literally believe the lies they tell. So, when they’re telling you the story, you believe it too because they are SO convincing. You even doubt yourself if you happened to be at the site of the same story.
8
People Who Are Too Nice
Aluxers, even the word nice is so Meh. It should be banned from the English vocab but here we are. We all know that one person who is nice all the time, and the problem with this type of behaviour is that they’re not being honest, are they?
Sometimes sh*tty things happen, and you want to shake the nice person and say, “show some emotion.”
And Aluxers, there is a huge difference between being nice and being kind. Being kind often means telling somebody something they don’t want to hear, but you have to tell them to help them improve themselves.
And we’ve all been on the receiving end of kind words that stung but it’s important to remember, it takes courage to say those things.
9
School “Friends” Who Suddenly Want to Meet Up
“Ping” you hear a Facebook message notification and guess what, it’s Natasha… you think you went to high school with her but can’t quite recall… because you weren’t really friends.
Hmm, strange, she wants to meet for a coffee. Now, why would that be?
Here are a few possibilities:
She wants to rope you into some MLM or pyramid scheme.
She wants to sell you something.
She wants an introduction to someone you know.
She thinks you can give her a boost up the social ladder.
Think we’ve covered the basics Aluxers, but we’d love you to add your “out of the blue” random meet up in the comments!
10
People Who Can’t Apologize
Have you ever received these half-arsed attempts at an apology?
“I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you’re angry, or “I’m sorry If I offended you.” You damn well did offend me, and I’d like a proper apology.
These people will never take responsibility for their mistakes and will make you feel bad for reacting the way you did, shifting the blame from themselves onto you.
Like the late Randy Pausch said, “Proper apologies have three parts: 1) What I did was wrong. 2) I’m sorry that I hurt you. 3) How do I make it better?”
Aluxers, have you ever stopped to think if your boundaries have been violated? See how you do with the next point before deciding.
11
People Who Violate Your Boundaries
So, how do you know that your boundaries have been violated?
You have to justify that person’s behaviour to friends and family. For example, your wife speaks to you in such a rude, condescending manner, and you tell your friends, “she only speaks to me like that when she’s stressed.” No – not okay.
You take all the blame when things go wrong. No – also not okay.
You feel guilt. Example – you have dinner club once a month with your girlfriends, and your mother knows this, but every dinner club night she texts and messages you, telling you she isn’t well or your child is missing you. No – absolutely destroying.
Do any of these situations ring a bell? Learn to say NO. It isn’t easy, but you need to start looking after yourself.
12
Cheaters
It sounds so obvious, doesn’t it? Don’t trust someone who has cheated on you. But it goes far deeper than that.
We’re not just referring to a person who is cheating in his or her relationship, we’re also speaking about your friend whom you know to be a cheater. Why are you hanging out with that girl or guy? Does that person make you proud to be their friend? Do their values align with yours? Why do you place your trust in a person that is purposefully hurting someone else?
What about someone who is cheating on their taxes? Or someone who accepts their change from the cashier, even though she’s overpaid… knowing they will have to pay that in themselves. Or even just googled answers during a pub quiz.
Cheaters always look for an easy out, a quick fix, are sore losers and bad winners. Aluxers, walk away!
Where there’s cheating, there are breakups. Check out “10 Myths About Breakups You Need To Stop Believing“.
13
Passive Aggressive or Competitive
Life isn’t a race to see who can get to the finish line first. It’s going at your own pace and finding peace, fulfilment, joy and love. If you know someone who is constantly competing with you, it’s not healthy! You’re both on your own journey… and it’s best to break the ties on that one.
Then let’s look at passive aggressive people – you know them because they’re the ones that will either sulk, be moody, give back-handed compliments, withdraw, or not partake in conversation.
They will say things like, “I wish I could own a nice car like yours, big sigh, but I guess that’s never going to happen… Umm, what just happened there? They’ve taken the attention away from you and your nice car and made it about themselves!
Or, the very best… I don’t mean to offend you but…, so Aluxers, we don’t mean to offend you but let’s move on to our next point!
14
Those That Are Easily Offended and Have No Sense of Humour
Who not to invite to your dinner people… exactly! We are not saying don’t be professional, but if you’re taking yourself too seriously, then that’s a problem.
Often people who are super serious or a bit on the dull side, see life in black and white. There is no grey scale, which means that new ideas, fresh viewpoints, and alternative ways of living might not always bode well with these kinds of people.
People who don’t poke fun at themselves are often insecure and afraid to show their true colours.
And honestly, don’t get us started on easily offended… it’s not always about you Karen!
We’ve saved the best… we mean worst for last…
15
People That Are Mean to Animals
It takes a special kind of low life to be mean to animals, and these people are not to be trusted. People who get dogs and treat them like sh*t, beat them when they pee in the house, or leave them outside in the cold without protection are not worthy of trust.
Sadly, this cycle is repetitive. You can get the animal taken away and re-homed, but within a week or two, there’s another defenceless dog sitting behind the fence, chained up with nowhere to go.
Aluxers, speak up for those that can’t speak for themselves and remember what Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”
Question:
What kind of person do you find to be untrustworthy? Share your thoughts with us, we love hearing from you.
