There Are Many Reasons Why People May Dislike You. Find Out the Bad Habits That Make You Less Likeable.
Being annoying and having bad habits is not necessarily a part of someone’s personality. They’re often like that because nobody has had the courage to straight up tell them they’re being irritating. So, Aluxers, we’re going to be that friend today and tell you 15 Everyday Things That Make You Less Likeable.
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1
Making Every Conversation Revolve Around You
Before jumping to conclusions that every person who does this is a narcissist, understand that a mere 1% of the population actually have narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD as reported by the Washington Post. It’s been that figure since 1968 when the term was first established.
So, why are so many people adept at making every conversation about themselves? Because nobody has told them they can’t. Nobody has called them out on their sh*tty behaviour and bad habits and unless you do, that person or you, will continue with that behaviour making you or them, less likeable.
If we’ve made you wonder whether you are a narcissist or not, check out 15 Signs You’re a Narcissist.
2
Always One-Upping Someone Else
Call it jealousy, call it insecurity, whatever– this is a terrible, highly unlikeable trait. It’s the sort of habit that will have people questioning whether you’re going to be at a social gathering, because their RSVP solely depends on that.
Let’s say it slowly. You don’t need to one-up anybody. You can honestly just be happy for their cool experience, purchase, or achievement. Their story does not take away your value, or your worth.
In fact, by one-upping them, you’re doing that all by yourself.
Aluxers, don’t forget – our channel is filled with nuggets of solid advice like this, be sure to subscribe!
3
Being Passive Aggressive
It’s a pretty cowardly move using passive aggression to try and get your point across. There’s nothing manly or womanly about it. It shows a lack of strength, courage, and smarts to use this form of “problem solving.”
If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it. Don’t try and sneak in under-handed remarks that do more damage in the long run.
Like Self-Care and Personal Development Advocate, Izey Victoria Odiase aptly puts it, “Passive-Aggressive behaviour consumes unnecessary time and resources. Say what you mean, let’s resolve the issue, and move on to more productive tasks.”
4
Checking Your Phone While Chatting to Someone
Aluxers, can you think of something more disrespectful when you’re trying to have a conversation with somebody, and they’re constantly checking their phone?
This behaviour is telling you, that you’re not important. It’s even got a name… phubbing. On our sister channel, New Parents, we spoke about this phenomenon in 15 Ways For Moms To Bond With Their Newborns.
We broke it down: “Phubbing: the practice of ignoring one’s companion or companions in order to pay attention to one’s phone or other mobile device.” That’s the definition from the Oxford English Dictionary. It’s basically the joining of phone and snubbing.
It’s rude and one of the worst bad habits. Don’t do it. If you have an addiction to your phone, we advise getting professional help.
5
You Complain About Everything
The service, your job, your partner, your kids… you’re exhausting everyone! Chronic complainers are everywhere, and they’re an ungrateful bunch with these bad habits, aren’t they? How many people would value the job they’re complaining about? How many people wish they were in a relationship or had their own children?
Psychologytoday.com defines a chronic complainer as people who… “perceive themselves as forever being on the losing end of things and drawing the short straw on a daily basis.”
These types of people don’t actually want or need your advice, they’re just doing it to ensure that you know how “hard” their lives are.
If you find yourself complaining all the time, try and gain a grateful perspective of what you do have, and work on yourself… you’re a work in progress after all.
6
You’re a Humble Bragger
Oh Aluxers, where to start with this one?
Posts a selfie – clearly looks stunning – says “I feel so ugly today.”
And there are a million more like this one:
And this one:
Oh, and how about this one?
Don’t be these people with these bad habits Aluxers, but considering you’re Aluxers, we don’t even need to tell you how less likeable these kinds of posts make a person!
7
You Can Never Find a Nice Thing To Say About Someone Else
In our video, 100 best motivational quotes, we shared a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
And we all know that person that can never say something nice about another. consciousthink.com lists several reasons why some people are like this:
- They try make themselves feel better.
- They’re jealous.
- To make themselves feel more important.
- To attempt to get people to like them more.
- Attention seeking and to feel in control.
However, at this stage, you’ve done the opposite of all these things. You’ve made yourself feel worse, you’re still jealous, you don’t feel important, people definitely don’t like you more and you’ve lost control, all because of these bad habits.
8
You Make Zero Effort To Ask Questions and Get To Know People
Nobody said meeting new people was easy, but at least give it your best effort. Don’t expect others to always ask the questions, to keep the conversation flowing and to make it effortless for you.
And it’s a cycle, Aluxers. If you don’t make an effort, people are going to tire of constantly having to do all the work with you. Then you end up having a sh*ty time, complaining about it and playing the victim and blaming others for your cra**y night.
Instead, take a step back and understand that you are responsible for the way the night panned out, not everyone else.
This characteristic is extremely unlikeable in a person, and only you can fix it in yourself – nobody else can.
9
Your Go-to Reply When People Ask You To Do Something, “I’m Too Busy”
Ahh, the person who is always busy. They wear their busyness like a suit of armour, like a gold star that their grade 1 teacher stuck to their forehead.
Being busy is not a measure of success. In fact, it’s the exact opposite.
Wouldn’t you rather be sitting, having a glass of wine with your friends and enjoying a laugh than rushing from point A to B, because you’ve overcommitted and are trying to achieve some kind of weird goal?
You’re not special because you’re busy.
And if this is you, perhaps it’s time to rethink your busyness. Figure out what you’re running away from when you have an innate desire to be busy all the time.
If you want to break away from these bad habits, and look at other career options, then we recommend you give Shopify a go. They offer great services and tools to make your dream website a reality. Go to alux.com/sell and get 2 weeks of premium service for free!
10
Conversations Are Money Focused
How much others earn, how they choose to “waste” their money, how you never have enough money… Money, money, money.
And yes, we need money to survive but there is more to life than money. And there is definitely more to life than discussing other people’s money.
That is their private business, and how they choose to spend it has got nothing to do with you or the company you keep.
And when it comes to your own finances, people are not interested in hearing you drone on about your sh*t paycheck. If it’s that sh*t, then change jobs. Oh, you can’t do that? Then, whose fault is that? Not the people who’s ears you’re chewing off!
As the famous saying goes:
There are 3 things to keep private:
Your love life.
Your income.
Your next move.
11
Being Late
Arriving anywhere late is a huge sign of disrespect and one of the worst bad habits. Seattletimes.com cites several reasons why you should never be late again:
- It doesn’t prove how busy or important you are.
- Being late tells the other person that your time is more important than theirs.
- It puts you at a disadvantage when you miss important parts of a meeting, or just the socializing beforehand.
- Arriving on time show you’re committed.
It’s easy, just plan your day properly. And remember using the old excuse like traffic or getting lost, don’t work anymore. There are too many Apps available giving you directions and the quickest route to your destination.
12
You’re a Massive Gossiper
It’s hard to believe that people still do this, isn’t it Aluxers? And even if you’re not the one doing the gossiping, but you’re listening to it… you’re just as guilty.
And here’s a question: What is that person saying about you when you leave the room?
We’d guess, not very complimentary things either.
Author, Shannon L. Alder, once said, “Often those that criticize others reveal what he himself lacks.”
13
Negativity Is Your Middle Name
A trait that nobody likes? Negativity.
Someone suggests a walk on the beach… The negative person will put the idea down.
Someone suggests a Saturday brunch with friends… again, you know what the negative person does.
There are legit reasons why some people are more negative than others, but … and that’s a favourite word of a negative person… nobody has ever called them out for it.
Instead, the negative person will find their invites begin to dwindle because they literally suck the fun out of everything because of their bad habits, and nobody has time for people like this.
14
You Love to Share
We’ve all tried to avoid certain people and the why is simple. You just know that they’re going to tell you something that is going to be awkward AF.
Like the recently turned 50-year-old friend who tells you all about her menopause and how things have changed in that department, or the mother who recently popped out a 4th kid and is happy to tell you about how things are a little stretched, or the guy who is completely accident prone and gives you all the gory details of his latest hospital ER visit.
Aluxers, this sort of information is private. It’s not something that everyone wants to listen to, so don’t impose yourself on others. Rather play it safe and assume that everyone doesn’t want to hear the gory details of your injury, menopause, or baby-popping facility … unless they ask. Then by all means, take the floor.
Which leads us directly to our last point.
15
Social Cues Are Not Your Forte
Great, so you’ve found someone to ramble on to about any of the situations we just mentioned – but you notice they start looking around, checking their watch, and yes even taking out their phone… that is your cue to zip it and bow out of the conversation.
Picking up on social cues is integral to your daily life, and if you’re unable to do the basics – it’s going to make you a lot less likeable specially with all these bad habits.
Look out for things like personal space, tone of voice, crossed arms, unfocused attention and sudden silence and when that happens – you gracefully end the convo.
Question:
Aluxers, what can you add to our list of everyday things that make you less likeable? We value your input.
