“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone!” Since we’re in the business of solving problems, let’s discuss the rules of being alone.
Depending on where you sit on the social spectrum, the idea of being in a crowd of people is either exciting or terrifying.
Despite all of that, being content with being alone is one of the most underrated superpowers.
And by the end of this article, not only will you change the way you think about being alone, you will also welcome the challenge.
Here are the 15 Rules of Being Alone!
Don’t worry if you don’t feel like reading; you can enjoy the video below or watch it on YouTube:
1
Your happiness depends on you
It takes years before you realize that happiness is an inside job!
It’s not ready-made, and you won’t be able to find your happiness someplace else.
The more you put this idea to the test, the less happy you become, because the search for happiness is a negative experience in and of itself.
That’s why being alone is such a powerful life-altering experience.
You learn to be happy with who you are, not who others think you are. It forces you to filter through the junk and garbage you hold within until you find yourself.
This is why monks go to the top of mountains to be away from everyone. Detaching your happiness from third parties is a must for self-fulfillment.
People will climb all the success and money ladders in the world, screaming at everyone, “Look at me, look at me!”. And all for that rush of dopamine, only to spiral out of control in withdrawal the moment everyone else looks away.
The more you think about it, the more you realize how much we enslave ourselves to the validation of strangers.
2
Your health depends on you
Based on our experience, we can tell you that a lot of our mental stresses are tied to our physical well-being.
Your health depends on you either way, but it becomes obvious when it’s just you involved in the process.
What you eat, how much you exercise, and if you’re able to go to the gym without other people motivating you to is you.
The rule of being alone here is: It’s you and the person staring back at you in the mirror. That’s it.
Your skin, your teeth, your weight—it becomes brutally clear that everything you do has a clear and immediate effect on your image.
The healthier you are, the more life you gain!
It’s easy to lose yourself in the process and let yourself go.
Most people binge-eat while watching videos on YouTube and then blame Doordash and McDonald’s for their own choices.
Rule #2 of being alone means you are fully in charge of your choices.
3
Your success depends on you
In the words of modern poet G-Eazy: it’s just me, myself, and I.
Show yourself and the world what you can do.
Nobody’s in your way, and nobody’s there to help. You have all the space you need to be you. So do it!
Make something out of what you have. Make yourself into something that you perceive as successful!
Put in the effort and watch your life bloom.
You appreciate it more when you earn it on your own because nobody will ever be able to say someone else handed it to you, and that level of freedom sits at the top of the success ladder.
4
If you’re lonely or not – depends on you
Being alone and being lonely are two very different things!
The opposite is also true; you could feel lonely even when surrounded by a bunch of people. and that’s one hell of a situation to find yourself in.
Stay away from people who make you feel lonely – people where you need to play pretend, although that’s not who you really are.
This is also a skill you learn on your own as you get older.
Getting better at being alone changes who you are because you become self-sufficient on your own, so your standards for who you allow in your airspace shift because of it.
You begin to feel like you can no longer tolerate anything that doesn’t contribute to your well-being.
They end up needing you more than you need them!
And because of it, power has shifted from them to you.
5
You become self-sufficient
If get this rule of being alone right, you will become your own self-sustaining ecosystem.
You take care of yourself; you establish routines, patterns, habits, and systems that help you thrive.
Life gets better and better
People who knew you are now shocked when they meet the new you: “You’re like a different person!”
But that doesn’t happen to everyone.
Some choose the other route, and life starts unraveling piece by piece until they plateau in a state of perpetual mediocrity.
They take it out on anyone who will listen.
They’re aggressive. Always in a bad mood and blame the world for their loneliness
The difference between those two lies in the guidance they receive.
In the targets they set for themselves. In the processes that govern their path forward.
The ones who get it right do it intentionally, while the failures leave it up to chance, and as you know, chances are you’re going to regret it.
So how does one increase their likelihood of success?
How does one get clarity on what they have to do and push through those mental barriers that keep you from taking action, especially when you’re by yourself?
You get guidance and begin to treat yourself as a work in progress, one that you rebuild one brick at a time. There are three main ways to go about this:
1. Books
Read as many of them as you can in the non-fiction section.
Every book you read will make you 1% better.
So if you read just 1 or 2, you won’t feel the difference, but they do stack up over time.
Problem: Reading is a boring activity for most people.
2. Events where experts coach you
You take a class, you go to business conferences or retreats, you go to a workshop where someone shows you how something gets done, and you attend all the free webinars that end up being upsold for retreats or telegram groups.
The problem: These events cost from $500 to a couple thousand dollars a pop.
The more valuable ones are over 10,000 dollars, and private sessions with experts who can tailor the advice to you are even more expensive than that.
3. You use the only app designed to get all the value of both of these options to you on your smartphone at a fraction of the cost
We know this is a shameless plug, but this is exactly the reason why we built the Alux app.
Instead of reading 1000 books and going to 1000 events, you get this life-changing app, and you get the distilled actionable parts delivered to you in audio and video form in 15 minutes per day when you want it.
We just released Collections in the app, where for only $99 per year, you get access to almost 1000 dedicated high-level coaching sessions, each worth between 1000 and 10,000 dollars.
This app is how we’re changing the entire industry. These are not book summaries. This is pure actionable value—when you need it – at your fingertips. Get the Alux app and start moving!
6
The gap between mind and reality can be instant
The smaller the gap between idea and execution, the faster one attains success in life!
The great thing about being on your own is that you determine when an action will be taken, meaning there’s no one stopping you from doing it now.
The cool thing about this rule of being alone is that it’s a permissionless world.
You can act when you want to act, however you want to act.
Married people remember these days fondly—at least, the ones in unhappy marriages anyway.
7
You choose where your feet are and what you see when you look out the window
One of the biggest choices that being on your own allows is location.
If you want to move to New York City tomorrow, you work your butt off for the plane ticket and a couple months rent, and that’s it.
Do you want to work out of a bungalow in Asia? The same. South America? Bring it on.
Here’s something you won’t like hearing: Being on your own and not liking where you are is your problem.
Whatever you do for a living right now, you’re almost guaranteed to be able to do it somewhere else.
If all other elements stay the same, you’re always better off going somewhere else where things at least have the potential to get better.
Choose where your feet are!
8
Alone is better than a toxic environment
If a plant doesn’t blossom, you don’t blame the seed; you blame the soil and the effort you put into taking care of it.
You might be a great seed, but you’ll never really know your potential unless you change the environment you’re in.
Those who have left toxic relationships and are better off because of it, make sure to click the like button on this video because you know we’re talking facts.
You will never spread your wings. The environment won’t let you.
The environment could be your parents, your friends, your teachers, your culture, your geography, etc.
Usually, you get rid of the weeds, but if reality taught us anything, it is that you’re better off moving yourself somewhere else and leaving the weeds to cannibalize each other.
The scariest part after doing all of that is:
9
There are no scapegoats to blame for anything
Some of you have been hiding behind these very valid claims until you left.
Now you’re on your own. What you do is what you get.
Rule of being alone: Who you are today and tomorrow adds up to who you become.
Once you remove all those reasons why you’re not where you want to be in life, you’re left with the crude, brutal truth of reality.
You get what you earn through your brains and effort! If you fail, it’s because you aren’t simply good enough yet.
If you give up, well, that’s another story.
10
Your identity is who you decide to be
The absolute best part of taking your life into your own hands and going at it on your own is that you rid yourself of all the labels your upbringing puts on you.
Wherever you go, people don’t know you. They don’t know your past. You get a fresh start.
How amazing is it to get the option to start fresh and to choose the person others get to meet for the first time?
One can shape one’s reality by reshaping one’s identity!
Have you ever imagined moving to a new country, switching your boring job to something you actually care about, changing the way you look and feel in your body, and living a life that excites you by being closer to who you really are, not who you have to settle to be?
Just how transformational would that be?
Have you ever wondered why more people fail to do it?
Most people don’t even know it’s possible and even fewer know how to do it…
What if somebody could show you exactly how to change your identity and hold your hand in the process?
For the life of your dreams?
You’d pay any price that you could afford, right?
Well, we’re about to blow your mind.
Two Sundays from now, we’re opening the doors to our flagship course: REINVENT MASTERY!
And that’s literally the promise and guarantee of this premium learning experience: If your life doesn’t radically change in the next 6 months since you joined the course, we will give you all your money back, no questions asked!
If you don’t think the person you are right now lives up to who you’re supposed to be, if you feel stuck, if you feel like something’s missing if you don’t fit in with the current environment, well, allow us to help you change that.
Go to alux.com/reinvent and be sure to have your email on the list before we launch. We open our doors for only 7 days, and then it’s done, as we will be working with those in the course.
You don’t want to miss it!
11
Your work is pure
The only way to be original is to remove yourself from all other sources of inspiration. Do so, and it will eventually come to you.
Here’s the thing about this rule of being alone: Life is complex, and great ideas float into the ether of space.
Whoever has their antennae ready to capture them gets to reap the benefits. Rich Rubin taught us that.
When you’re alone, you produce better work.
This is why masters used to shut themselves in their ateliers and only come out when the work was done.
Being alone allows you to tune out the world and tap into some reservoirs of creativity and genius you didn’t even know you had.
12
The longer you are alone, the better you get at being alone
There are 3 phases to being alone:
1 – The excitement of the new
This is where you’re overwhelmed by the abundance of options. You’re experiencing a level of freedom you haven’t tasted before, so you indulge yourself in everything.
Time goes by and things settle in. That’s when you enter the stage.
2 – Repetitive boringness
This is where, after you’ve tried most of the things that seemed exciting to you at first, you pick the most convenient ones and stick with them for a while.
- You order takeout from the same three restaurants on rotation instead of cooking.
- You told yourself that you would run every morning, but since you stay up late watching reruns, it doesn’t feel right when the time comes to wake up go…
- You do this for a while, and at some point, you realize every day starts to look dangerously close to the one before, and a wake-up call happens.
Something needs to change, so you change.
3 – You find one thing that really gives you a happiness boost
- You discover you love riding your bike.
- You hit it off with some folks at your gym, and now you don’t want to miss a day.
- You find a new job and a new restaurant. A new rhythm for life.
From this point forward… Being alone not only makes it easier, but you enjoy it more because you get really good at being alone.
You’re actually having fun!
This rule of being alone shows you that you will keep at it until your life becomes so good that it will feel weird not to share it with someone else.
13
Find a partner you want to be alone with… but time is ticking
As a society, we chose to hit snooze on marriage, family, and kids.
As time goes on, you realize the number of potential prospects rapidly goes down, and if you wait too long, you no longer get a first-round pick.
Before you set YouTube on fire with your comments, there is a harsh reality we want you to be aware of:
Not everyone has the same timetable as you!
The violation of this rule of being alone is what leads to those “one who got away” situations.
Some people will regret their choices their entire lives because they got so used to being alone that they were afraid to let anyone in.
The best partners are those you want to be alone with, away from everybody else. Together, you’re enough.
14
Being alone reveals who you want to hang out with
This might sound counterintuitive at first, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense.
When you’re alone, you gravitate toward the type of content you vibrate with.
This becomes a puzzle piece of your identity. In time, you will acquire all these different pieces.
When the time comes to go out, these puzzle pieces serve as checks to see who the people are that you’re going to vibe with.
Some of our greatest experiences to date have been times when we met Aluxers out in the wild and got to hear their stories.
For those of you who are new here, we’re on a journey to change the lives of 1 billion people through education and to create at least 1000 millionaires from scratch.
That’s why so many people subscribe to our platforms! If you’re one of them, we thank you for showing up today!
15
Alone is a cage locked from the inside
The last rule of being alone: You’re the one who chooses to be alone.
You’re the one who decides when it’s time to put an end to it, but the more time passes, the more effort you’ll have to put into re-acclimating yourself to living amongst others.
Some people get so good at being alone that they never want to come back.
As with everything in life, there are no fit-all solutions, but based on experience, we found value in doing both.
The act of creation is superior when done in isolation. But the act of consumption is better when done with people. May this serve as a guiding light as you move forward through life.
And since you took the time to read this lengthy article until the very end, you’ve earned yourself a secret bonus.
Bonus
Go fast until you decide to go far
Everybody knows the saying:
If you want to go fast, go alone.
If you want to go far, go together!
Or the minimal Silicon Valley version: move fast and break things.
This is the ethos of the early-stage individual. If you’re early, if you don’t know who you are… If you have a vague idea of where you want to go, then speed is your friend.
The more things you try in as short a period of time as possible, the more personal progress you’ll make.
If you don’t know who you are and what to do with your life, it is because you violate this rule.
So be alone. Move as fast as you can until you finally start getting some clarity.
Once you’ve made that progress, your ability to choose where you want to go and who you’re going to go with dramatically improves.
This applies to yourself, your personal relationships, and your business.
You do everything yourself until you know who to hire and how you want things done.
If your life hasn’t clicked yet, it’s because you lack speed!
The more you think about it, the more it will resonate with your current reality. You’re waiting for your life to change without actually putting your foot on the gas.
These were the 15 rules of being alone. Being alone is not a death sentence. It’s actually a great way to grow and get to learn yourself. Have the courage to face it and make the best out of it! See you next time.
