Walking on a one-way street is lonely. And sometimes, you do things for others that you don’t get back.
Here are 15 things you do for others, but they don’t return the favor.
Don’t worry if you don’t feel like reading; you can enjoy the video below or watch it on YouTube:
1
Unrequested help
When you constantly offer unrequested help, you’re unintentionally devaluing your effort.
Saying, “I have nothing better to do anyway” only makes it seem like your time isn’t valuable.
When you help without being asked, people may start expecting it as a given, not as something they should be thankful for or reciprocate.
It’s good to be helpful, but ensure it’s needed and valued.
Make sure your support isn’t turning into an excuse for others to avoid responsibility or take your time and effort for granted.
2
Favors in exchange for friendship
Doing favors with the expectation that it will solidify a friendship is a balancing act.
Relationships should be built on mutual respect, appreciation, and a genuine connection, not merely on a transactional basis where favors are exchanged.
When you consistently do favors, hoping to cement a friendship, you risk being in a relationship that’s conditional and lacks sincerity.
Favors should not be the foundation upon which a friendship is built.
They should be an outcome of the genuine care and regard you have for someone, not a strategy to maintain a place in their lives.
3
Priority above yourself
Consistently putting others above yourself might seem like a generous act, but it can lead to imbalance and resentment in relationships.
When you make someone else’s needs and wants a priority over your own well-being and aspirations, you create a dynamic where your efforts might not be reciprocated or appreciated to the same extent.
Prioritizing others over yourself often comes with the expectation of receiving the same level of care and consideration in return.
However, this isn’t always the case.
People might start taking your selflessness for granted, not fully valuing the sacrifices you make.
Just like the stewardesses tell you, you need to put the mask on yourself first, then care for those around you.
A sinking ship doesn’t help anyone.
4
Checking in
Continually checking in on others, showing that you care about their well-being, and offering a listening ear is a kind gesture that nurtures relationships.
But when this becomes a one-way street, it might leave you feeling unappreciated and emotionally drained.
When you frequently check in, show empathy, and offer support, you foster an environment where the other person feels valued and cared for.
But if these feelings and actions are not reciprocated, it can create a sense of imbalance and inequality in the relationship.
You may feel like your emotional investment is not valued or recognized.
Checking in should be mutual.
It’s about creating a support system where both parties feel heard and supported.
If you find yourself always being the one reaching out and showing concern without the same level of care being returned, it might be time to reconsider the dynamics of the relationship.
5
Be considerate of how it would make them feel
When you walk on eggshells around others and others fly in Apache helicopters around you, it’s time to re-evaluate who exactly you are so careful for.
When you’re always the one making adjustments, always the one being overly cautious of their feelings and emotions, you end up being taken for granted.
It makes the relationship uneven, where your constant effort to be considerate isn’t matched, making you feel less valued and respected.
It’s exhausting to treat others like they are made of glass.
6
Include them in your plans
Including someone in your plans is a generous gesture of thoughtfulness, care, and a desire to share experiences.
You make them part of your moments and memories.
This shows that they are essential in your life and that you value their company.
However, when this act of inclusivity is not reciprocated, it might make you feel underappreciated or overlooked.
When others continuously exclude you from their plans, it subtly communicates a lack of consideration for your presence in their life experiences.
It could make you question the place you hold in their lives.
If you feel like you don’t really belong with those you hang out with, this might be the reason.
7
Listening to their problems
Listening to someone’s problems is a substantial way of showing that you care.
You give them your time and your attention.
It’s about being present, showing empathy, and sometimes offering advice or a different perspective to help them navigate through their difficulties.
However, it becomes a one-sided street when they don’t reciprocate when you need someone to listen to your issues.
This lack of reciprocation can leave you feeling emotionally drained, unsupported, and undervalued.
When you’re always there for them, but they are not there for you in return, it might indicate a lack of mutual care and respect in the relationship.
If you’re the only one listening to others’ problems, maybe it’s time to mind your own.
8
Talk well about them when they are not around
The way you talk about someone when they don’t have a chance to reply shows a great deal of character. It takes a lot of emotional and social intelligence to be aware of that.
Always painting someone in a good light and letting their own actions confirm or deny it is a sign of maturity. Something that people generally lack.
For some, gossiping and making fools of others when they are not around is a national sport.
9
Being their cheerleader
When you’re someone’s cheerleader, you’re their pillar of strength, their source of encouragement, and their unwavering supporter.
You’re there, clapping the loudest at their successes, big or small, and offering a shoulder to lean on through their failures and setbacks.
Your energy, enthusiasm, and belief in their potential can be a driving force that helps them push boundaries and strive for more.
But what happens when the roles are reversed?
If your unwavering support isn’t reciprocated, it can be draining and demotivating.
In most cases, when people don’t acknowledge your achievements, it is because it makes them uncomfortable regarding their own success.
These are the types of people who will drag you down just to feel slightly above you.
10
Being flexible
You change plans, you make compromises, and you go out of your way to make sure things are convenient for everyone.
Your flexibility becomes the glue that holds plans together, ensuring that things go smoothly and everyone is happy.
But going out of your way for others who can’t have theirs is a signal that you may lack some backbone, especially if you are the only one being flexible.
Suddenly, your own time becomes whatever time you have left after others are done.
If you find yourself in this position, know that you are supposed to be your own person.
11
Expressing gratitude
Saying thank you and being genuine about it is the easiest and most low-effort way to show appreciation.
So there is really no excuse for others to not say it back to you.
Do things for others and not expect anything in return because it’s ok.
But if nobody even thanks you for it, you may start to wonder if your help is actually valuable or not. Or if others see it as valuable or not.
12
Respecting their time
If you respect others’ time, you don’t respect yours.
It’s one thing to be mindful of when is the right place and the right time for something, and it’s a whole different thing to be overly respectful of others’ time besides your own.
Everyone has priorities, urgent matters, and things that need solving.
And everyone needs the time of others now and then.
But if nobody gives it to you, it may be because you don’t actually value your own time.
You see, when you are overly respectful of others’ time, what you are really saying is “You are way more important than me”.
And that’s no way to represent yourself.
13
Drop what you are doing to come to their help
Very few people should be in your first circle.
And that’s the circle for which you can drop what you are doing and go to their help.
But since very few people will do the same, that circle is more like a dot.
Someone’s pillar of support or get-out-of-jail-free card should be reserved for them.
14
Remember minor but important details
People feel a special kind of attention when you care about things that aren’t written in their Facebook bio.
Things like their dog’s birthday or the place they met their partner.
Remembering small but cool details about people can really make a difference in friendships.
It’s about noticing and remembering things that are special to them but are not super obvious or posted on Facebook.
Not everyone takes the time to remember stuff like that about others. Do things for others that make them feel really important and listened to.
It’s like giving them extra attention that stands out, making your connection with them stronger and more personal.
But not everyone makes the effort.
15
Maintaining confidentiality
Be honest, how many people will keep your secrets to the grave?
Maintaining confidentiality is like being in a vault for someone’s secrets or private stuff.
When a friend trusts you enough to share something personal, keeping it just between the two of you is super important.
It’s about respecting their privacy and showing them that their trust isn’t misplaced.
However, it might feel a bit disappointing when you realize that not everyone does the same for you.
Some people might spill the beans, either carelessly or intentionally, not keeping your secrets as safely as you keep theirs.
Despite this, sticking to your values and continuing to be a trustworthy friend is a pretty solid move.
It makes you reliable and someone others can count on to respect their privacy, even if the favor isn’t always returned in the same way.
And of course, we have a bonus for those of you sticking to the end.
Bonus
Bringing them with you on your journey
What’s the point of first class if your people can’t sit with you?
This is a matter of a core team, the OG’s, the people who have been there since day 1, grinding side by side with you.
If you make it, you’ll bring others with you. That’s the point of the whole journey.
And it’s a beautiful thing if you build a group that will do that for everyone.
The things we do for others aren’t always reciprocated. But in the end, what’s really important is what you can do for others. See you next time!
