Our Lives Have Become Chaotically Fast. At This Pace, It Is Vital to Our Success to Pause and Learn Why We Feel Alone at Times.
There has always been a negative association with being alone but being alone is where the magic happens.
Oddly, when we’re so busy, we put off alone time as something “we don’t have time for.” But it’s this over-the-top busy lifestyle that needs you to switch off occasionally and regroup.
We’ll list 15 reasons why your feelings of being “alone” are good feelings. Ones that you should embrace, get comfortable with, and use to your advantage.
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The last thing you need when feeling alone is a long read. Switch to our engaging YouTube upload for this topic:
With that given, let’s get curious and find out what makes us feel alone.
1
Be Sure You Know if You’re Lonely or Alone
Aluxers, there is a huge difference between feeling lonely and being alone. Being alone is a state of being, we often choose the solitude. Being lonely physically hurts.
Loneliness causes an aching in our chest; we feel like our hearts are physically cracking in half and it’s a dull pain that sits with us all day and night.
Loneliness makes us believe there is something wrong with us. It’s a state of mind.
Being alone can lead to wonderful things, which we’re about to discover.
2
Being Alone Inspires Creativity, New Ideas, New Ways of Approaching Old Problems
The late Rollo Reece May, American existential psychologist and author of the influential book Love and Will, once said, “In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.”
Many fear being alone, but it’s like anything new, it takes some getting used to. Once you are unafraid of solitude, you will realize it’s the perfect breeding ground for creativity, new ideas and new approaches to old problems.
When we live with so much background noise, it’s hard to switch off and let our thoughts just wander. Putting aside a few minutes of alone time each day will do wonders for your innovativeness, vision and originality.
3
Learning to Be Alone Boosts Mental Strength
Aluxers, have you ever eaten at a restaurant by yourself? Or watched a movie or show all alone? It can be terrifying, right? But afterwards, you’re quite proud of yourself, aren’t you?
Studies have proven that those who are able to spend quality time alone are generally happier, have better life satisfaction and are better at handling stress than those that don’t like being alone. They experience less depression and handle disappointments a lot better that their alone-fearing friends.
Being able to be alone, especially during these strange Covid times, is vitally important for one’s mental health. Perhaps Dr. Seuss could see into the future when he said, “All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot!”
4
You Learn to Reflect on the Past, Present, Future and Plan Accordingly
When we spend time alone, we have a moment to look at the past and decide where we went right and where we wrong, if there was something we weren’t proud of, and what we can do to improve on it.
By spending time alone reflecting on the present, we come to realize how much we have to be grateful for, even if at that exact moment it’s being grateful for being able to spend a few quiet moments alone.
And looking into the future give you clarity on where you’re going with your life and what you need to do to make it happen.
5
It’s a Break From Daily Stress
In our video, 15 Ways to Be Less Stressed, we mention “Equip yourself with the right gear to tackle stress.”
It’s like looking out the window, seeing it’s raining, but you head outside without a raincoat, open-toed shoes and a birthday cake with lit candles. Was it the right gear for the weather? Not even close!
Same with stress. We all go through periods of stress, and often it’s unavoidable – but how we react to stress is completely up to you.
Spending time alone gives you a chance to regroup, clear your head and begin again with vigour and more energy than you had before.
As author, William James once said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
6
It’s a Rare Time to Be 100% You
Aluxers, how often do we wear different hats? We wear our professional, ready for work hat at the office, our silly, giggly hat when we’re hanging with our kid cousins, our mature, responsible hat when we’re with our parents, or our sex-siren hat when we’re on a hot date.
But wearing all these different hats can be exhausting and sometimes we forget who we are in the process.
When we spent time alone, we become hyper self-aware. We spend time with the good and the bad, and this in turn increases our EQ. We understand our emotions and the reasons why we react the way we do, when we spend time alone self-reflecting.
It’s during this alone time that you can be unapologetically, 100% you!
7
Alone Time Makes You More Empathetic
A study done by Harvard confirmed that spending time alone makes one more empathetic to others. The study found that when we’re surrounded by lots of people, we battle to tune into the feelings of others. We get caught up in the “we” vs “them” mentality, which dissipates when you spend quality time alone and away from your peer group.
Psychotherapist and author Amy Morin added, “Spending time alone helps you develop more compassion for people who may not fit into your ‘inner circle.’
Aluxers, there’s a great audio book quickie that we highly recommend called “Overcome Fear of Being Alone” written and narrated by Darren Marks available on audible.com – alux.com/freebook.
The bigger success you aim at, the more intense level of loneliness there will be to pass through. Find out How to handle LONELINESS and DEPRESSION on your way to SUCCESS?
8
When You’re Alone You Get to Really Know Yourself
So often we get roped into going with the flow, or we suffer serious bouts of FOMO, so we end up doing things that we really didn’t feel like doing in the first place.
We scroll through social media without purpose, mindlessly, and then fret because we’re not having as much fun as people we’re seeing on our IG feed.
If you’re constantly doing what others are doing, or comparing yourself, you’re missing out on spending valuable time with yourself, getting to know who you are because you’re so busy being what other’s want you to be.
If it’s difficult to do in the beginning, try activities that still offer some form of distraction – just not the online kind of distraction. Go for a hike, take a walk on the beach, grab a coffee and people gaze… the more you do things alone, the easier it will become and the less “alone” you’ll feel.
9
Alone Time Boosts Your Memory
Aluxers, we are constantly bombarded by noise. Not just the sounds that fill our ears all day long, but visually, physically, mentally, and emotionally and it’s very difficult to switch off from all of it.
When we don’t give our brains a chance to shut and down and rest, we become forgetful. A study done by the National Library of Medicine, found that being exposed to prolonged silence stimulated new brain cells to grow. It further added that quiet time helped the brain work harder.
The study took volunteers who meditated regularly and compared them to volunteers who didn’t. The researchers compared the “rates of cortical folding.” Those that meditated regularly had more folding than those that didn’t, and the more folding that occurs means the brain is better at processing information, remembering, storing memories and making decisions.
And just in case you weren’t sold just yet, here’s an excellent reason why spending time alone is worth it!
10
Alone Time Let’s You Cut Out the Nonsense and Meditate
Maybe you’re a sceptic when it comes to meditation but when you look at people like Bill Gates, Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey, Katy Perry, Jessica Alba and Jennifer Lopez… they’re all highly successful and they all meditate.
It’s scientifically proved to reduce anxiety, lower your BP, and calm you down.
If saying Ommm is not quite for you, we’ve got a 21-day Mind Mastery course that will change your life. The course helps you to productively meditate, because we understand that meditating is not easy for everyone, it helps you deal with stress and anxiety, develops your EQ, builds self-discipline, helps build better relationships and increases your income.
We’ve cut out the crap and focused on your needs Aluxers, which is why we’re giving you this not-to be-missed Black Friday deal of 50% off our Mind Mastery Course.
11
Being Alone Makes You Realize You Are 100% Complete
Aluxers, here’s the truth. You don’t need someone to complete you! You are already complete. When you spend quality time alone, you will realize that you are just fine as you are. When you do meet someone, they won’t be there to fill a void, but instead will add value to your life.
You don’t need to always have a partner hanging on your arm to feel secure or loved, when you can love yourself.
Like author Mandy Hale once said, “Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”
12
Alone Time Without Relying on Any Activity, Makes You Avoid Mindless Consumption
What’s the first thing we do when we’re alone? We reach for our phone and start scrolling. 2 hours later, we’re still there, scrolling away and achieved nothing.
If you are struggling with scroll addiction, you’ll struggle with being alone and you’re going to have to make a concerted effort to wean yourself off the screen.
We suggest the following:
Change your notification settings. This way you don’t get alerted to every event, every MLM scheme, and what your colleague’s daughter is taking for her school lunch today.
Set your phone to greyscale. Why? It doesn’t look as appealing, does it?
Don’t use your phone as an alarm clock. The further away you can keep it from your bed, the better.
Once you’ve made all these little changes, you will find it easier to spend quality alone time with yourself and not your phone.
13
You Appreciate Other People More
Sadly, we often take the people in our lives for granted. We get so used to them being there, and them fulfilling certain roles, that we don’t think much of it.
But, by spending alone time and using that time to think of the important and integral role they play in our lives, is enough to have us grabbing our phones… you’ve had time away from the phone, so it’s fine… and sending that person a message of appreciation.
When we show appreciation, that person will always want to give more. And like Mahatma Gandhi said, “Relationships are based on four principles: respect, understanding, acceptance and appreciation.”
14
Solitude Gives Your Body a Chance to Catch up With Your Brain
It’s hard to switch our minds off, isn’t it? We are constantly planning, analysing, thinking and it’s exhausting.
This means your mind is not in sync with your body, and it can lead to mental burnout, and like we said in our video 15 Reasons Why Working Hard Is Dumb, No one wants burnout for Christmas!
Especially now, with the Christmas season upon us, schedule some alone time every day for yourself. Your body and your brain need to get back in sync.
And Aluxers, if all our theories haven’t given you enough evidence that being alone is good, here’s a scientifically proven fact to seal the deal.
15
Alone Time Jump-Starts the Parasympathetic Nervous System
The parasympathetic nervous system is the control system in the body that regulates functions such as heart rate, digestion, urination, respiratory rate, and pupillary response. It’s here where the fight-or-flight response happens.
When you spend time alone, this system calms you down. Your muscles relax. Your heart rate slows down, and your blood pressure drops. In this quiet space, there is no need for the fight or flight response. The only need is for you to breathe and just be. That’s it!
Question:
Aluxers, what do you do when you need some alone time? Thanks for sharing with us!
