Does Your Dad Have Certain Shady Habits That Make You Think He May Be In the Mafia or Something? Find Out.
We can all trust Tiktok questions for some laughs, and the “Are you in the Mafia?” challenge is too good to ignore. The question from the Soprano’s is set to the 90s classic, “Gangsters Paradise”.
If there was even a little mafioso in the famiglia, TikTok creators are clearing out the skeletons in the ‘ol family closet..
You don’t have to be Tony Soprano’s daughter to have some suspicions about your dad’s “employment”, a little too much time on the tanning bed and an open collar can be enough of a tip off that your pops is working for the mob.
But let’s not make a do about nothing and get to it, kapish?
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With that said, let’s move forward with the article.
1
Your Grandma Still Thinks He Plays Cards for a Living
Whatever he does for work, his darling mother isn’t in on it. And while he isn’t telling grandma he is a highschool teacher, it’s always a job with a vague description and irregular hours. It seems that a dad’s employment is a common giveaway, but more clues on that, coming up.
2
Tinted Windows Are Standard
Nothing smacks of mob connections like your mode of transport. In fact the mafia people have such a specific style of ride that we made a video about the Top 10 CARS That Give Off MAFIA Vibes.
On top of the kind of car, the styling is also key. Black or silver paint jobs and tinted windows are a must. Or course, there should always be plenty of trunk space for “disposal”.
As TikTocker @heeheelolo points out, her grandpa’s ride has all the tell-tale signs of working for the mob.
3
He’s Always Got a Guy
Is your dad like a living breathing directory, and he has people for everything? Or is he the kind of guy who knows everyone, everywhere he goes? Except that you can’t imagine what he would have in common with them, but they seem to have a solid understanding of each other, even a long history and possibly share a shady secret? TikTocker @stasiasergianni knows what we’re talking about.
4
He Always Has a Roll of Hundreds
Another sign of mafia people is that tell tale roll of cash he always has ready to peel off a few notes when the bill comes.
But where does he get the dough, because it pretty much seems like….
5
He Doesn’t Work
He might have told you he has a “construction company” but like @gabcalo points out in her TikTok, he plays golf 24/7. What is more curious is just how much money he is willing to dish around. There is nothing more gangster than tipping 50%, and if TikTok mafia people concessions are anything to go by, that seems about the size of the average cash tip according to @lexinatorasf video.
6
He Bought a Bullet Proof House
If your dad seems to need more protection than the average Joe then you can probably guess he isn’t paying taxes on all his income. @janlovesgod pointed out the curious need her dad had to buy a bullet proof house. And you can probably count on your remaining fingers how many reasons there can possibly be to need a bullet proof home?
7
He Is Always Travelling
Nothing says your dads in the mob like a long list of “daddy’s out of town” explanation from your mother. “Work trips” seem to take him from Texas to Taiwan and the reasons are all a little, well…vague to say the least.
It seems when dad’s not on the road for “business” he spends a lot of his time travelling for leisure too, and this is where he is happy to share the five star luxury with mi familia!
Which brings me to my next point:
8
When It’s 5 Star Holidays with Dad, and You Still Don’t Know What He Does for a Living
They say if you want to work out the mystery you should follow the money. But if the money keeps bringing you on holiday to 5 star resorts… theeeeen maybe lay off the questions and enjoy the vaycay with your dad.
If you’re going on a holiday and need something to read, check out 10 Books to Read These Holidays.
9
He Has Two Phones
This one is definitely on the shady end of the equation. If your papa-bear is rocking two cellphones and your mom knows about them both, you can be damn sure it’s not an affair, and doubly sure it’s a covert operation situation. As if most of us don’t find one phone bad enough, you have to have a real good reason for anyone to have two. TikTokker @haileyderringer certainly thinks it’s a sign.
10
He Has Property Everywhere
The mafia people seem to have different homes in area codes than their family can keep up with. So if your pops has a property portfolio that doesn’t seem to explain his leisurely lifestyle like @elizabethisedgy then you’re in The family, my friend.
Question:
What habit makes you think your dad’s in the Mafia? And give us your best mafia aesthetic while you’re at it.
