Do You Think You May Have Some Toxic Habits? This Is Your Chance to Find Out.
We need to highlight some unhealthy behaviours we take on the regular that could cost you your mental health and happiness. When we’re more aware, we can improve. Here are 15 Toxic Behaviours That Have Been Normalised by Society.
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Ditching the video version of this long article and continuing to read it is a toxic behaviour in itself. So, switch out to the video version:
Without further ado, let’s move forward with the article.
1
Drinking
Drinking on the reg is about as normal as not smiling on public transport, it’s assumed that most adults end the day with a drink or two, or the week with a drink or five.
Just because it’s legal and acceptable, doesn’t make it good or healthy. It’s just become so accepted that no one bats an eye when you crack open a cold one. On the contrary, try bringing a non-alcoholic beverage to a party and see what a scene it creates!
Drinking leads to reckless behaviour, confrontation, and regrettable texting, yet it’s more of a freak move to not be into it.
2
Blaming Your Parents for Everything CR*P about You
So, your parents messed up a bit. No one comes out of childhood unscathed.
We don’t all enter adult life at the same starting point. That is something a mature adult deals with and gets on with, regardless.
The truth is that you can remain a child to your parents and continue to blame them for everything they did wrong, or you can start acting like a grown-*ss adult and start from exactly where you find yourself and start improving yourself every day.
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3
Sexualizing Children
It is currently completely acceptable how children are framed when it comes to advertising, marketing, and fashion. Why high heels for a size 3-year-old even exists is a mystery. Even imposing suggestive “romances” between two young children in Valentine’s day advertising is creepy if you stop and think about it. But how often do we think “aaaw cute” instead.
Little boys and little girls don’t need to be groomed to fill suggestive adult relationships with each other. Nor should short skirts, or tight-fitting clothing be needed to make them more attractive… to whom? Certainly not to each other, so again we ask, to whom?
4
Overtime
In many large cities, if you’re not doing overtime, then you’re working under time. Overtime has become part of what is required to gain recognition and be considered for a promotion.
We’re sure you’ve all experienced a toxic work culture where anyone who dares leave when their work is done instead of waiting until the boss leaves, is chastised as being uncommitted to their work.
Many work contracts even include a minimum number of overtime hours that are expected before overtime is paid for, which is often more than 60 hours of work a week.
This long and continuous work week doesn’t inspire innovation, diligence, or enthusiasm to get the job done, but rather seems to merit seat warming, over performance.
5
The Fear of Getting Fat
A 2014 study highlighted in the New York Times, showed that 81% of 10-year-old girls are more afraid of getting “fat” than they are of cancer, nuclear war, or losing their parents? The same study showed that 42% of third grade girls wanted to be thinner, and 51% of age 9- and 10-year-old girls feel better about themselves when they are on a diet.
How did we get here?
Somehow all these overt messages that fat is a fate worse than death has filtered down to our children and these fears last a lifetime.
6
Gender Stereotypes
Stereotyping our feelings or actions according to an outdated list of masculine and feminine traits is completely anti-progress! Some of our most toxic behaviours come from trying our darndest to fit into these roles.
Men being uncommunicative or “tough” when something affects them, or women feeling pressure to act indecisive or submissive when they would prefer to take control of a situation.
Even the most basic shades of colour are still chosen for genders. Aluxers, will there ever be a time when pink is not a girl colour and blue not a boy colour?
These stereotypes lead to other toxic behaviours, like our next point.
7
Toxic Masculinity
What do GI Joe, James Bond and Donald Trump all have in common? Yup, an above average dose of toxic masculinity. The rougher, the tougher, the more womanizing the better. Men are taught to replace feelings with catch phrases or more violence the moment conflict arises.
If you have ever heard someone, explain away a behaviour as “boys will be boys,” you will know just how absurd this really is. Toxic Masculinity is the social pressures placed upon men to be violent, competitive, independent, and unfeeling.
Aluxers, we recommend you take a listen to Toxic Relationships by Hope Utaram on Audible, where she explores all types of toxic relationships. We’ve got a free download for you – just head to alux.com/freebook.
8
Accepting Mediocrity and Applauding Effort Instead of Results
“Try your best” is about the worse advice you can give a child who has big dreams. Talk about setting them up for disappointment.
Yet it’s also the advice we give ourselves when we are trying to do something significant. The truth is that “your best” has nothing to do with it. And just “trying” won’t get us anywhere.
Let’s get real, it’s just something we say to make ourselves feel better if it doesn’t work out. But we’re better than that. We can face the disappointments along the way.
In real life there are no prizes for trying, and no midway medals, yet accepting mediocrity has become the norm.
9
The Crazy “Role Models” That People Look up To…
God Bless Kendall Jenner, but is she really who you want your child to look up to? What value, change or foundation has she laid out for us to follow? How has she paved the way for us to feel better, see further or think deeper?
She just makes most of us feel like we’re not hot or rich enough!
When we allow people like Kendall Jenner to be who we look up to, we limit ourselves.
There are so many more role models we could have, people like Alyssa Carson. Alyssa who? Eeeexactly. At 19 years old she has just become the youngest person in history to pass all of NASA’s aerospace tests and is now an astronaut.
Now don’t you think she would be a better person for your future kid to know about?
10
Adding Sugar to Every Item That We Purchase
According to the American Heart Association, the average American eats 22 teaspoons of added sugar per day. That’s a ton of sugar, the reason we don’t even realise it, is that it is so well hidden.
There are more than 60 names for added sugar, so it’ hard to spot this disguise artist.
According to Johns Hopkins Medical School here are some of the most common pseudonyms that sugar goes by… If it has the word syrup in it, words that end in -ose like dextrose, fructose, maltose. Add fruit nectars, juice concentrates, honey, agave and molasses to the list, and those are all sugars that are consumed every, single day.
If you want to make better health choices, check out 15 Health Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making.
11
Racial Bias in Criminal News
Although it is unbelievable that we are still identifying people according to race, what is more incredible is the overt racial bias when reporting on crime.
When a crime is committed by a white assailant, there is always discussion around his mental state, or prior abuse to excuse the behaviour. However, when a black person commits a crime, they are outright guilty with only the intention of being a seasoned criminal. No backstory or trauma or mental health issues considered unless supporting the narrative that they are a crazed criminal.
While crime is crime, and not acceptable in any event, how we portray criminals should be equal across the board. If we don’t correct this toxic behaviour, we will continue to see racial lines in all areas of life.
12
The Enormous Amount of Screen Time People Get
From the moment we wake up, to the time we go to bed, we are captive to screens. And we don’t only mean your phone and laptop. It has become so socially acceptable that everywhere we go screens are popping up… the train, in the taxi, the elevator, flashing at us while we stand in line at the store, in the foyer of our kid’s school.
It has become socially acceptable to thrust screens in front of us at every turn without even a thought of consent.
This toxic mess of digital messaging is infiltrating our lives, yet we accept and continue the trend.
Aluxers, we released a video that will help you get rid of your own toxic thoughts – be sure to watch: 10 TOXIC Beliefs That Keep You From Growing and follow some great advice.
13
Using Your Kids to Make Money off Social Media
One of the most toxic behaviours on the list that most people turn a blind eye to, is posting kid’s lives online. Before they have even asked for privacy, their privacy is violated by public posts, pranks or having their whole life made public for the sake of royalties from unboxing videos.
So many people have an opinion on parents who dress their kids up and pop them on a catwalk but posting photos and videos of your children for some kind of social status is the same thing. Worst of all is those that monetize their children’s lives through blogs and vlogs.
These kids don’t have a say of how or when their lives are plastered all over the internet and have no control of how it will affect them as they age out of their parent’s grip.
14
Expecting Immediate Answers
It’s scary to notice how people perform when they realise someone has read their message and not replied immediately. The two-tick fever is real and forces us to respond to everyone all the time regardless of what we are doing or risk breaking some cardinal rule.
Unlike the 5 second rule of dropped food, this one has far more health risks involved. It can cause constant anxiety and dependence on our phones, causes our dopamine to fire up for the wrong things, or end up causing a total drama where there wasn’t really one.
15
Wastefulness
One of the most toxic behaviours of the 21st century is chronic consumerism. The thought that everything is easily replaced, that even if it ain’t broke we should replace it, and that we replace rather than repair.
Its acceptable behaviour to just ditch a picnic blanket in the bin because you don’t feel like carrying it anymore, because hey… you can just buy another one. Or to throw away your broken hairdryer instead of repairing it.
All this “hassle-free” living is leading to a climate crisis and we’re all in together.
Tidy up your habits and get a little more resourceful in looking after the stuff you’ve got, and there will always be enough to go around.
Question:
What is the toxic behaviour you are most guilty of?
