Have You Ever Thought That Maybe You’re the Reason Behind Your Complicated Life? Here Are 15 Ways How You Do It!
Do you feel like you’re caught on a hamster wheel? Going round, and round but getting nowhere? It shows that you are the one to continuously complicate your life.
Are you quick to make excuses for the busyness that saps the very life from your soul?
Here are 15 ways we all love to complicate our lives, and only we can stop the cycle.
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Reading a long complicated article like this one is not fun at all. Check out the video version of this article instead:
With that done, let’s move forward to the article.
1
Ditch the Cr*p
Oh Aluxers, do we love to hoard. We get that not every person will be able to Marie Kondo the heck out of their space, but there’s a limit. If your closet requires brute strength to close, then it’s time to purge. And in our video, 15 Small Acts of Kindness that Make the World A Better Place, we suggest clearing out the stuff you don’t need and donating the rest to charity.
Things like an overflowing cupboard complicate our lives because we open it daily and think, sh*t, I need to do something about this, and that zaps our energy. And that’s with anything in our home, that constantly reminds us what we need or should be doing, giving us no rest or peace in our space.
2
Not Telling the Truth
Lies complicate matters, even those little white ones. Let’s say you buy something off Marketplace, and you spent $50 on it. Your partner asks, how much you spent, and you reply, “$40.” And you move on… but down the line, you’re telling someone about your amazing purchase, and you say you spent $50, and your partner is like “Whoa, you told me $40.” And you’re caught red-faced.
Here’s the thing with lies.
A: We don’t remember them.
B: They make us more anxious.
C: They require more energy to maintain.
Avoid complicating your life. Yes, the truth can hurt, but rather that than a lie that just temporarily fixes a problem.
3
Your Belongings Have No Home
Find yourself looking for your keys constantly? Your cap? Your sunnies?
Finding a place for everything is not simple task, but it’s totally worth it!
And it takes getting used to, but once you realize you’re not spending 10 minutes trying to locate sh*t, you’ll be happy you invested a couple hours giving each item its own place.
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4
Having Bit**Ing Sessions With Friends
Let’s be honest, when has bit**ing and moaning about something led to constructive results? Hardly ever!
Those sessions with friends can often add more complications in your own life. That’s not to say you can’t air grievances with friends, but then your aim is to find solutions and support as opposed to an ally for your drama.
Leave those drama llama’s behind and you’ll see how uncomplicated life can become.
5
You’re Soooo Busy
Hi, my name is… and I’m addicted to… being busy. And you love the fact that you’re so “needed.” Psychologytoday refers to a book by Brené Brown, called Daring Greatly. The book talks about numbing behaviours that we use to protect ourselves from vulnerability.
And if you think she’s speaking about some form of narcotic, you’d be wrong. As she says, “One of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy. I often say that when they start having 12-step meetings for busy-aholics, they’ll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who’ve bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up with us.”
Be sure to listen to the book on audible.com and use alux.com/freebook. And Aluxers, hand in your busy badge. You don’t need it anymore.
6
You’re Disorganized
If you’re opening your plastic container cupboard and the lids and bottoms tumble out, you’re complicating your life.
If you’re spending 5 minutes every morning trying to find matching lids to your reusable coffee cup, you’re complicating your life.
And if you’re scrounging through laundry to find matching socks… yep, you’re complicating your life.
Calculate all the time and tension you’ve caused yourself, and rather use that time to sort all that cr*p out, because that negativity just filters through your entire day, and you really don’t need extra complications!
7
You Have “White Knight Syndrome”
Is it your life’s goal to save others from themselves? You might have White Knight Syndrome. Here’s how you know if you have it:
– Your self-worth is based on your ability to “fix” others.
– You have your own issues of abandonment.
– You gravitate towards needy people.
– You try control and micromanage your partners life.
– You try and ensure your partner needs to depend on you.
Aluxers, you need to change from saviour to self-care, and only then will this massive complication in your life disappear. Give yourself the time to heal. You owe it to yourself.
8
Not Doing Things Right the First Time
It is the hugest waste of time having to go back and redo something because you didn’t do it properly the first time. If we always put our best effort in, we leave no room for “shouda, woulda coulda’s.”
Like the late basketball coach John Wooden once said, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”
9
You’re Always Saying, That’s How We Always Do It
That is completely inefficient and pointless, and just because you’ve always done something a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s the right or best way.
By opening your mind to change, you could find your life becomes simpler and less complicated. Listen to others and take advice and guidance when offered. If you could streamline your life, work or home, do it.
Even Forbes.com confirmed that the most dangerous phrase in business is, “We’ve Always Done It This Way.” It was likened to, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” That mentality gets you nowhere, you remain static and allow yourself zero room to grow.
10
We Try Fill Every Blank Space
What do we mean by that?
Have you ever been in someone’s company and you feel like you need to fill the silence with constant speaking?
Have you got a space in your home that you need to fill with something? Be it more furniture, another picture, or an ornament of some sort?
Have you got an opening in your mind that you’re constantly filling with thoughts?
We have this constant desire to have nothing empty, and the more we try and fill these spaces, the more complicated we make our own lives. The chatter achieves nothing, the extra furniture is just more furniture to clean, and the unnecessary thoughts create worry and anxiety.
Some things are best left blank.
11
We Work for the Sake of Working
You’ve heard the saying, ‘If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life’ and we highlighted it in our video, 15 Things You Didn’t Know About Tim Cook, where he calls b*llsh*t on that quote.
Cook says, “when you find a job you are passionate about, you will work hard, but you won’t mind doing so. You will work harder than you ever thought possible, but the tools will feel light in your hands.”
But working for the sake of working, is never going to provide you with that possibility. Hard work will feel like hard work. The tools will feel heavy and you will get zero job satisfaction.
12
You Try Control Everything
Aluxers, we’re sure you’ve heard that the biggest disappointments in life are ones where you expected a certain outcome, and it didn’t transpire that way.
And that’s because we try and control the outcome. And when we do that, and things don’t work out the way we expected, the disappointment is even worse.
By accepting that not everything will go your way, and that often what we want from life is not always what we need, then you’ll start feeling like things are a lot less complicated and disappointing.
But it’s not like you can’t control anything. There are still many things you can keep under control. Check out 15 Things You Can Control in Life.
13
You Don’t Keep up to Date With Annual Necessities
There are certain things in life that we must do, regardless of whether they’re fun or not.
Going to the dentist regularly will ensure that you don’t end up having huge dental problems down the line because you’ve caught a problem before it escalates.
Keeping the servicing of your car up to date will mean that you won’t have unexpected mechanical expenses that end up costing way more than just your regular services.
Paying your accounts on time each month means that you don’t get charged interest, further complicating your life and putting you under additional stress.
If you are terrible at keeping on top of these things, put reminders on your phone so that every year, just before you need to licence your vehicle, you get a reminder telling you to do so and so on.
14
You’re Afraid to Let Go of Toxic Relationships
We’ve all been there Aluxers. You feel guilty and sad to see a friendship dissipate after many years but holding onto that relationship causes far more complications then letting it go and dealing with the pain right away.
It’s a tough one, especially if you’ve invested so much into it. And yes, it will be da*n lonely, but it leaves space for the right person to enter your life, the one who doesn’t leave you feeling worthless and vulnerable.
And Aluxers, even if that person is you – for yourself – you’re totally on the right track.
15
You Avoid the Tough Issues
Is confrontation your kryptonite? Do you brush mountains under carpets, like Becky Hill sang in her single, Space? Do you bury your head in the sand and hope the problem goes away?
They don’t.
And next you’ll find yourself in therapy, wondering how the h*ll you got from a small issue that could have been resolved, to popping Urbanol every day and sitting on a therapist’s sofa.
Don’t complicate things further. Have those tough conversations, be hurt for a while, learn from the experience, grow from it and move on.
Like Maggie Kuhn once said, “Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind – even if your voice shakes.”
Question:
How do you complicate your life Aluxers? We’d love to hear from you!
